Tag Archives: infertile

Daily Mindfulness

So here I am on a holiday I am not particularly enjoying, but that has given me a tonne of extra time to spend on various things, one of them is a daily mindfulness practice.

I’ve downloaded an app called “Mindfulness Daily”. Great app, sets reminders to practice through the day and also talks you through different practices e.g. Focusing on breath or an object.

I originally wanted to try out mindfulness as a way of coping with stress and slowing down, as my life is so incredibly hectic and I have a constant “babble” in my head.

I’ve been doing the mindfulness app 3 times a day as prompted. I really like the way it gets you to pause and does go quite some way to quieting a busy mind.

But I don’t feel it’s made any effect on my stress levels. The more I do the app the more I wonder to myself, am I missing the point?!

Mindfulness and meditation – I wish I “got” it but I do struggle to see the point, although I try really, really hard!

I will persevere. I’m hoping it will suddenly “click”. I need more stress busting tips! How do other people deal with stress?

Advertisements

I love ….. Coffee with baileys!

I am currently on the holiday I promised I would take once my ivf journey finished. My hubby and I haven’t had a holiday since our honeymoon which was the same year I was told that my only option for having a child would be adoption or donor eggs.

Well things didn’t quite turn out like that and I’ve had 4 rounds of ivf, 1 of which produced my miracle son and I’ve also had 2 miscarriages.

I promised myself that life could no longer be in limbo and it was time to move on.

So here I am, in Spain, on my holibobs. Bitter sweet really as I’d rather have a baby then a holiday. And I’m not enjoying this holiday all that much either if I’m honest.

But I am a little in love and obsessed with this! Coffee and a shot of baileys!! Beautiful.

Every cloud, eh?!

20140703-191029-69029808.jpg

Castor Oil Pack

This is me doing a castor oil pack!!

I’ve heard it good for scar tissue. I had an ectopic in February and although they didn’t remove my tube, I’m pretty certain it’s damaged and scarred. Also, I have a large cyst on my ovary, which I ruptured last month and wound up back in hospital! Doh!!!!

Hoping that this castor oil pack is helping my gynae issues!

I also find it really the feeling really comforting.

I have also been putting the castor oil on my eyelashes, as I’ve heard it makes them grow thicker, longer and fuller.

Double bubble!

20140618-220540-79540434.jpg

Caffeine Withdrawal Symptoms

I Love This

Blustery, sunny, Sunday mornings. In the park, with Nancy and her amazing home made meringues!!!

http://www.whatnancydid.blogspot.co.uk

Cobwebs blown away and feeling inspired!

20140511-165123.jpg

20140511-165134.jpg

Methotrexate Injection

The second part of my ectopic story is that I needed to have a Methotrexate injection about 10 days after my laparoscopy.

The reason for that was because my hcg levels began to rise again.

That’s really hard. This hurt a lot and brought up some emotions. Obviously, all sad. Obviously, all desperate.

Methotrexate is a drug they give to chemo patients to stop cells multiplying, but it has applications for ectopics too. Some info here

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Methotrexate.aspx

They administer it via intramuscular injection into the top of your bum. The nurses that gave me my injection both wore black aprons when they gave it to me, as it’s some seriously harsh stuff!! This totally freaked me out.

All I wanted to do was draw a line under this whole sorry situation and things just kept getting worse!

After I had the injection I had a considerably amount of bleeding in my mouth and nasal passage, as it affects that tissue, but the worst was the crushing tiredness for weeks after.

I was also told to not ttc for 3 months due to the increased chance of birth defects.

Could this whole situation be any shitter?

How bad is a laparoscopy?

So just how bad is a laparoscopy?

Well, emotionally harder and physically more painful then I expected.

I had my lap in March after my 6 week ectopic was discovered. Sadly for me, it was developmentally normal and it had a heartbeat. But given I am a hardened infertile of over 6 years now, I never expected to walk away from this with a live baby. To a certain extent that has help protect me from a lot of heartache.

The whole situation happened very fast and the docs wouldn’t let me leave the hospital, I sat in the hospital corridor blubing for 3 hours before my surgery.

Coming round from surgery was pretty hardcore, I felt very sick and vomited quite a lot. The sounds of the other gynae patients around me is pretty horrible. One woman, out of her head on morphine, told me she had written a number of episodes of Coronation Street…..in her head. Bizarre!!

Spent that night not feeling very well, as the nurses woke me every few hours to check I was ok. The pain started the next day. Trapped wind is awful and more painful then you think. Peppermint oil in water is great though and moving around was better then lying down, even if I did have to wheel my drip around with me! Peppermint tea is good too.

I went home the next day and mainly just felt very tired and delicate. Recovery is fairly quick even though they sign you off work for 2 weeks! I have minimal scaring and emotionally I’m ok. Although I’ve only stopped crying daily recently.

What can you do when your alternative is death? Got to count myself lucky, I soppose?

20140426-170916.jpg

20140426-170950.jpg

20140426-171015.jpg

20140426-171045.jpg