Tag Archives: conceive

Methotrexate Injection

The second part of my ectopic story is that I needed to have a Methotrexate injection about 10 days after my laparoscopy.

The reason for that was because my hcg levels began to rise again.

That’s really hard. This hurt a lot and brought up some emotions. Obviously, all sad. Obviously, all desperate.

Methotrexate is a drug they give to chemo patients to stop cells multiplying, but it has applications for ectopics too. Some info here

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertreatment/Treatmenttypes/Chemotherapy/Individualdrugs/Methotrexate.aspx

They administer it via intramuscular injection into the top of your bum. The nurses that gave me my injection both wore black aprons when they gave it to me, as it’s some seriously harsh stuff!! This totally freaked me out.

All I wanted to do was draw a line under this whole sorry situation and things just kept getting worse!

After I had the injection I had a considerably amount of bleeding in my mouth and nasal passage, as it affects that tissue, but the worst was the crushing tiredness for weeks after.

I was also told to not ttc for 3 months due to the increased chance of birth defects.

Could this whole situation be any shitter?

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ICSI Babies

Hello!

This is a guest post written by my lovely friend Karen, who I met when I was in my early 20’s whilst at work. I thought she was “well cool” because she can speak, like, 10 languages and she’s a lawyer!!! She wrote this lovely story of hope all about her ICSI miracle babies.

This Easter weekend has been a bit of a special one for us. Easter Sunday was my gorgeous boy’s 6th birthday. He was born after our first round of ICSI back in 2007. And then Easter Monday was the two-year anniversary of our frozen embryos (from that same ICSI cycle) being transferred! And then today, the 22nd, my beautiful daughter is 15 months old!

When I hear other people’s stories, I know how very very lucky we were to have success first time after both ICSI and a frozen embryo cycle. In no small part it was definitely down to the very wonderful people at the Esperance Hospital’s Assisted Conception Unit. For us they couldn’t have been better and I would rate their embryologists as second to none.

But I think just being relaxed and positive was a huge contributor too. How I achieved that is anybody’s guess because I am one of the biggest stress monkeys you could ever wish to meet! But I always approached the process as just that – a process. It was something I didn’t have any specific control over until those little babies implanted themselves in my expectant womb. Everything else was down to other people, medicine, fate… And so I couldn’t control/change/blame myself for doing anything wrong if it didn’t happen. And I never entered the process thinking that it may not happen, either. Again, so strange for me because I always worry about what could have/would have/should have been.

If I could only tell all of you going through IVF how to achieve that calm, positive approach, I would bottle it and give it to you all for free. But it definitely seemed to work for us. I did dabble with a little acupuncture (more on that separately). In fact less than a year before we went for IVF I was a physical and emotional mess. The lovely people at Dragon acupuncture clinic in Brighton put me back together and maybe the soothing calming effect of acupuncture stood me in good stead.

Not even Hospitilisation for OHSS when I got pregnant with my son could break my positive spirit.

So keep the faith ladies! I’m no spring chicken at 42 now and definitely won’t be going through any more fertility treatment. But whatever your age or your history, I wish you all the very very best in your quest for a family.

I think I feel normal

Finally, I think I feel normal.

I’ve been sick for 2 weeks now. Actually, properly, sick. I still have a horrible, hacking cough but, I feel well and not unhappy.

Moving on from the ectopic was actually very hard, made harder by having to have the methotrexate injection. But now there is some distance between me and the “event”  I actually feel ok. In fact, not being able to TTC for 3 months due to the methotrexate is a welcome relief and a welcome break from my Infertility. I little bit of positive in a world full of negative. I cant even try to get up the duff for another month and a half.

So thats me in a nutshell really. Not a lot to report, but I’m just trying to reach my new normal. It is also weird that I can no longer be categorised as infertile, given I’ve been pregnant twice in 11 months. That fact alone gives me some real hope for my future ttc chances.

I’m back on the supplements now too. I’m trying a new one called Macqui. Its an anti-inflamatory and an anti-oxident. Its great for anti-aging basically. Hopefully it will anti-aging my tired, old eggs!

I am still really struggling with trying to quit Caffeine. Argh!! Why?? I can quit absolutely everything else with no issue, including cigarettes, why cant I quit coffee???!!!

I’m setting myself a 7 day challenge. No starbucks and no sugar for 7 days. Do you think I can do it?

Acupuncture – 5 Element

I’ve been trying something new. 5 Element Acupuncture.

I’ve had loads of acupuncture in the past. I’ve always found it pretty relaxing and the sessions really stress relieving, but I wanted to try something new. I’m always on a quest to try and “fix” my infertility.

Luckily for me, the 5 element practitioner works in the building over the road from my office.

The major differences between 5 element and “normal” or traditional acupuncture is that moxa is used and the needles are inserted and then pulled out. And also, it does actually hurt! In fact, the practioner actually wants you to feel the needles going in!

At my first appointment, my practioner placed needles all up my spine, and viewed where the entry points were red. This was to indicate where I needed the needles to be inserted at the other points in my body.

Once that was done, Liz the acupunturist, used moxa on points on my chest, stomach and feet.

Moxa is Mugwort and is used to warm up the points in preparation for the needles to be inserted. The intention is to get the blood and the qi flowing.

It’s pretty pungent stuff! I walk out of the treatment room smelling like I’ve been smoking a million fags!

I really do need to do more research on the benefits, but I love trying new things out and I’m enjoying the experience, even if it does hurt a fair amount!

I will certainly let you know how I get on! If you have any 5 element acupuncture stories, please share them with me!

 

I am Fat

I am fat

I am fat

I am fat.

I’m not entirely sure how I now manage to weigh 2 stone more then my pre-ttc weight. The last stone has crept on after I had my son, in fact that last stone crept on in the last 3/4 months.

My arms look like the Michelin Man, and I look like I’ve swallowed a duvet.

I am not a pretty sight. Luckily I’m not at the stage where I have to buy a new wardrobe to accommodate my ever increasing thighs, but I’m ever so close.

To top it all off, I do not feel very good, neither health-wise, nor mood-wise. After  my failed IVF I decided that enough is enough. So I contacted Kelly from Fit not Thin @FitNotThin.

Initially, I was convinced my expanding stomach was due to damaged muscles due to carrying a baby, but given that I gave birth to him nearly 2 years ago, cant really hide behind that tired old excuse, can I!? And Kelly confirmed that there is not much wrong with my actual stomach muscles. Although, she could be wrong, she had to press down through an awful lot of fat to reach them, that’s for sure!

So here’s what’s happening, I am no longer eating cake. I am not eating carbs. I am eating salad. Lots of salad.

I see Kelly 2/3 per month. The sessions are excellent and all about weights and using the vibrating machines at the Re-vitalise Studio in Hove. I’m really loving it.

Sadly, I have also discovered a correlation between my coffee consumption and weight gain, i.e. the more coffee I drink, the more weight I gain.

Goddammit, no coffee, no fags and no cake.

 

 

 

 

Smoking Preggos

Last night I went to the pub. The whole place was heaving with families and pregnant women.

I felt completely surrounded by those lucky, happy preggos.

Some of them were smoking. SMOKING!!!!

I was so upset, I actually cried. Granted I’d had a couple of sherry’s by that point, but seriously, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT TO THEIR BABIES???? How?

So I cried out of anger and frustration and jealousy.

One of the preggos asked me if her smoking had upset me? And I said no. How could I get into an argument about this in public? How can I explain to her that I will never, ever be as blessed and as lucky as she is right now, without sounding like I’m completely barmy?

I tried to explain how I felt to my friend, who just kept saying how lucky I am to have had my son, and yes, I know I am lucky, and more thankful then you could ever imagine, but I’m sad for me and I’m sad for a future that will never exist. But most of all I am sad for my little boy, because I feel like I’ve failed him.

Anyway, this walking away from TTC is much harder then I thought.

Reflexology

 

A few weeks ago I attended an event for mums called “Big Sunday” www.bigsunday.co.uk

 Its brilliant and gave me the opportunity to do loads of lovely things like, Yoga and pilates but I also had reflexology by the wonderful @Lunatreatments.

It was only for 20 minutes but I remembered why I loved reflexology in the first place and wondered why I had stopped going? I used to go every couple of weeks when I first started trying for a baby 6 long years ago.

So I booked another appointment and went to see Selina at Gingko in Kemp Town last week for the full hour!

Even though I am no longer trying for a baby, there are benefits in having reflexology for fertility purposes:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-20980/Is-reflexology-new-cure-infertility.html

Ok, ok! Not the most scientific of articles, but you get the picture!

Have a look at this article for more info:

http://www.naturaltherapypages.co.uk/article/reflexology_for_fertility

Anyway, I loved it! Such a nice treatment, really relaxing and I had some much needed alone time! Its great to just lie back and relax. Something I never, ever do.

Selina picked up my lazy left ovary – amazing!

If you want a bit of “quiet from the crazy”, I would recommend this. Its good to be kind to yourself. Something us IF ladies never do.

I also booked a session for my husband. I really hope he loves it too!

If you are in Brighton, check out http://lunatreatments.co.uk/