So here I am on a holiday I am not particularly enjoying, but that has given me a tonne of extra time to spend on various things, one of them is a daily mindfulness practice.
I’ve downloaded an app called “Mindfulness Daily”. Great app, sets reminders to practice through the day and also talks you through different practices e.g. Focusing on breath or an object.
I originally wanted to try out mindfulness as a way of coping with stress and slowing down, as my life is so incredibly hectic and I have a constant “babble” in my head.
I’ve been doing the mindfulness app 3 times a day as prompted. I really like the way it gets you to pause and does go quite some way to quieting a busy mind.
But I don’t feel it’s made any effect on my stress levels. The more I do the app the more I wonder to myself, am I missing the point?!
Mindfulness and meditation – I wish I “got” it but I do struggle to see the point, although I try really, really hard!
I will persevere. I’m hoping it will suddenly “click”. I need more stress busting tips! How do other people deal with stress?
Posted in baby, conceive, family, fertility, ICSI, infertility, ivf, pregnancy, pregnant, Stress, supplements, ttc, Uncategorized
Tagged baby, infertile, meditation, mindfulness, stress
This is me doing a castor oil pack!!
I’ve heard it good for scar tissue. I had an ectopic in February and although they didn’t remove my tube, I’m pretty certain it’s damaged and scarred. Also, I have a large cyst on my ovary, which I ruptured last month and wound up back in hospital! Doh!!!!
Hoping that this castor oil pack is helping my gynae issues!
I also find it really the feeling really comforting.
I have also been putting the castor oil on my eyelashes, as I’ve heard it makes them grow thicker, longer and fuller.
Posted in baby, Beauty, conceive, fertility, infertility, ivf, natural, pregnancy, supplements, ttc, weight
Tagged baby, castor, cyst, ectopic, infertile, oil
Blustery, sunny, Sunday mornings. In the park, with Nancy and her amazing home made meringues!!!
Cobwebs blown away and feeling inspired!
Posted in Beauty, conceive, family, fertility, herbs, ICSI, infertility, natural, pregnancy, pregnant, supplements, ttc, weight, zita west
Tagged baby, baking, family, fertility, food, infertile, infertility
I’ve got REALLY deep frown lines. This is pretty good! I’ve noticed a real difference
Finally, I think I feel normal.
I’ve been sick for 2 weeks now. Actually, properly, sick. I still have a horrible, hacking cough but, I feel well and not unhappy.
Moving on from the ectopic was actually very hard, made harder by having to have the methotrexate injection. But now there is some distance between me and the “event” I actually feel ok. In fact, not being able to TTC for 3 months due to the methotrexate is a welcome relief and a welcome break from my Infertility. I little bit of positive in a world full of negative. I cant even try to get up the duff for another month and a half.
So thats me in a nutshell really. Not a lot to report, but I’m just trying to reach my new normal. It is also weird that I can no longer be categorised as infertile, given I’ve been pregnant twice in 11 months. That fact alone gives me some real hope for my future ttc chances.
I’m back on the supplements now too. I’m trying a new one called Macqui. Its an anti-inflamatory and an anti-oxident. Its great for anti-aging basically. Hopefully it will anti-aging my tired, old eggs!
I am still really struggling with trying to quit Caffeine. Argh!! Why?? I can quit absolutely everything else with no issue, including cigarettes, why cant I quit coffee???!!!
I’m setting myself a 7 day challenge. No starbucks and no sugar for 7 days. Do you think I can do it?
Posted in ARGC, baby, conceive, egg, family, fertility, fsh, herbs, ICSI, infertility, ivf, Mr Taranissi, natural, pregnancy, pregnant, supplements, ttc
Tagged baby, coffee, conceive, difficulties conceiving, ectopic, family, FET, icsi, IVF, pregnancy, ttc
Last night I went to the pub. The whole place was heaving with families and pregnant women.
I felt completely surrounded by those lucky, happy preggos.
Some of them were smoking. SMOKING!!!!
I was so upset, I actually cried. Granted I’d had a couple of sherry’s by that point, but seriously, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT TO THEIR BABIES???? How?
So I cried out of anger and frustration and jealousy.
One of the preggos asked me if her smoking had upset me? And I said no. How could I get into an argument about this in public? How can I explain to her that I will never, ever be as blessed and as lucky as she is right now, without sounding like I’m completely barmy?
I tried to explain how I felt to my friend, who just kept saying how lucky I am to have had my son, and yes, I know I am lucky, and more thankful then you could ever imagine, but I’m sad for me and I’m sad for a future that will never exist. But most of all I am sad for my little boy, because I feel like I’ve failed him.
Anyway, this walking away from TTC is much harder then I thought.
Posted in ARGC, baby, conceive, egg, family, fertility, fsh, herbs, ICSI, infertility, ivf, Mr Taranissi, natural, pregnancy, pregnant, smoking, supplements, tea, ttc, Uncategorized, zita west
Tagged 2WW, ARGC, baby, conceive, egg, embryo, family, fertile, fertility, FET, icsi, infertile, infertility, IVF, pregnant, smoking, ttc
One of my lovely twitter pals, @SarahJLawson82, has recently posted on her blog about the highs of 2013 and her wishes for 2014. I thought it was a fantastic idea and compiled my own list. It really did make me think. I wish my highs of 2013 had been better and more of them.
Its been a fairly crappy year all in all. Especially as my IVF had failed and I made the horrible decision to stop TTC. I find that the best way to cope with this is to not think about it. So that’s what I do, I don’t think about having a baby and don’t think about never having a baby. If I did, it would be too painful.
Anyway, here it is:
Awesome things from 2013
- I continue to be incredibly thankful and in awe of my gorgeous and growing son
- I now do a job I don’t hate with every fibre of my body
- I celebrated 5 years of marriage
- I have managed to downsize/de-clutter my entire house
- I made the difficult decision to quit TTC
Get a life in 2014
- Go on holiday (I’ve not been for nearly 6 years)
- Write more
- Have a loft extension built
- Renovate our garden and erect a Summer House
- Lose 2 stone (I weight 2 stone more then my pre ttc weight)
- Do more things I enjoy eg reflexology, having my nails done etc
- Go to the theatre more, especially the ballet which I love
- Decorate Samuel’s room and theme it – pirates
- Learn to cook
Sarah’s blog is www.one-daybaby.blogspot.co.uk Go check out her lists.
And make your own! Let me know how you get on!
Posted in baby, egg, fertility, fsh, herbs, ICSI, infertility, ivf, Mr Taranissi, natural, pregnancy, pregnant, supplements, tea, Uncategorized, zita west
A few weeks ago I attended an event for mums called “Big Sunday” www.bigsunday.co.uk
Its brilliant and gave me the opportunity to do loads of lovely things like, Yoga and pilates but I also had reflexology by the wonderful @Lunatreatments.
It was only for 20 minutes but I remembered why I loved reflexology in the first place and wondered why I had stopped going? I used to go every couple of weeks when I first started trying for a baby 6 long years ago.
So I booked another appointment and went to see Selina at Gingko in Kemp Town last week for the full hour!
Even though I am no longer trying for a baby, there are benefits in having reflexology for fertility purposes:
Ok, ok! Not the most scientific of articles, but you get the picture!
Have a look at this article for more info:
Anyway, I loved it! Such a nice treatment, really relaxing and I had some much needed alone time! Its great to just lie back and relax. Something I never, ever do.
Selina picked up my lazy left ovary – amazing!
If you want a bit of “quiet from the crazy”, I would recommend this. Its good to be kind to yourself. Something us IF ladies never do.
I also booked a session for my husband. I really hope he loves it too!
If you are in Brighton, check out http://lunatreatments.co.uk/
Posted in ARGC, baby, egg, fertility, fsh, herbs, ICSI, infertility, ivf, Mr Taranissi, natural, pregnancy, pregnant, supplements, tea, Uncategorized, zita west
Tagged 2WW, baby, conceive, conception, difficulties in conceiving, egg, embryo, family, fertility, FET, holistic, icsi, infertile, infertility, IVF, pregnant, reflexology, Treatment, ttc