Monthly Archives: December 2013

Smoking Preggos

Last night I went to the pub. The whole place was heaving with families and pregnant women.

I felt completely surrounded by those lucky, happy preggos.

Some of them were smoking. SMOKING!!!!

I was so upset, I actually cried. Granted I’d had a couple of sherry’s by that point, but seriously, HOW CAN THEY DO THAT TO THEIR BABIES???? How?

So I cried out of anger and frustration and jealousy.

One of the preggos asked me if her smoking had upset me? And I said no. How could I get into an argument about this in public? How can I explain to her that I will never, ever be as blessed and as lucky as she is right now, without sounding like I’m completely barmy?

I tried to explain how I felt to my friend, who just kept saying how lucky I am to have had my son, and yes, I know I am lucky, and more thankful then you could ever imagine, but I’m sad for me and I’m sad for a future that will never exist. But most of all I am sad for my little boy, because I feel like I’ve failed him.

Anyway, this walking away from TTC is much harder then I thought.

2014

Hello everybody.

One of my lovely twitter pals, @SarahJLawson82,  has recently posted on her blog about the highs of 2013 and her wishes for 2014. I thought it was a fantastic idea and compiled my own list. It really did make me think. I wish my highs of 2013 had been better and more of them.

Its been a fairly crappy year all in all. Especially as my IVF had failed and I made the horrible decision to stop TTC. I find that the best way to cope with this is to not think about it. So that’s what I do, I don’t think about having a baby and don’t think about never having a baby. If I did, it would be too painful.

Anyway, here it is:

Awesome things from 2013

  • I continue to be incredibly thankful and in awe of my gorgeous and growing son
  • I stopped smoking
  • I now do a job I don’t hate with every fibre of my body
  • I celebrated 5 years of marriage
  • I have managed to downsize/de-clutter my entire house
  • I made the difficult decision to quit TTC

 

Get a life in 2014

  • Go on holiday (I’ve not been for nearly 6 years)
  • Write more
  • Have a loft extension built
  • Renovate our garden and erect a Summer House
  • Lose 2 stone (I weight 2 stone more then my pre ttc weight)
  • Do more things I enjoy eg reflexology, having my nails done etc
  • Go to the theatre more, especially the ballet which I love
  • Decorate Samuel’s room and theme it – pirates
  • Learn to cook

Sarah’s blog is www.one-daybaby.blogspot.co.uk Go check out her lists.

And make your own! Let me know how you get on!

 

 

 

 

 

Reflexology

 

A few weeks ago I attended an event for mums called “Big Sunday” www.bigsunday.co.uk

 Its brilliant and gave me the opportunity to do loads of lovely things like, Yoga and pilates but I also had reflexology by the wonderful @Lunatreatments.

It was only for 20 minutes but I remembered why I loved reflexology in the first place and wondered why I had stopped going? I used to go every couple of weeks when I first started trying for a baby 6 long years ago.

So I booked another appointment and went to see Selina at Gingko in Kemp Town last week for the full hour!

Even though I am no longer trying for a baby, there are benefits in having reflexology for fertility purposes:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-20980/Is-reflexology-new-cure-infertility.html

Ok, ok! Not the most scientific of articles, but you get the picture!

Have a look at this article for more info:

http://www.naturaltherapypages.co.uk/article/reflexology_for_fertility

Anyway, I loved it! Such a nice treatment, really relaxing and I had some much needed alone time! Its great to just lie back and relax. Something I never, ever do.

Selina picked up my lazy left ovary – amazing!

If you want a bit of “quiet from the crazy”, I would recommend this. Its good to be kind to yourself. Something us IF ladies never do.

I also booked a session for my husband. I really hope he loves it too!

If you are in Brighton, check out http://lunatreatments.co.uk/