I didn’t really tell anyone I was having IVF number 4. and I especially haven’t really discussed it with anyone as it was a total and utter disaster from start to finish.
I don’t even know where to start.
The bottom line is that my already compromised “fertility” has completely fallen off a cliff and my baby making days are over.
I produced only 2 eggs on this round, having always produced 7 in the last 3 rounds, therefore my 2 pathetic little eggs were not given the opportunity to go blastocysts, as, what would be the point?
But if your eggs don’t develop to blasto’s, how will you ever know that they would have made it that far anyway? This just makes the 2WW even more torturous and quite frankly, an utter waste of time and emotions and hope.
So now what? I’m done with this hideous roller coaster and I’m done being sad all the time. I cant continue to spend ever second of every hour thinking about my lack of fertility and I cant keep hemorrhaging money trying to make this work, nor can I bankrupt us in the process.
Time to face facts – I’m never having another baby, I better just get on with my life instead of it being perpetually on hold.
And with this in mind, I quit my job on Monday.
I’m now enjoying some time off work and spending as much time as I can with my darling baby boy. I’m drinking a lot of coffee and not taking a million and one supplements!
So now what do I do with my life?